Turn that frown upside down.

Its hard for me to explain how I feel affected by the passing of someone not related to me, someone I was probably never acquainted with; who if ever walked past me, went unnoticed.

Yet strangely life events as such leave me thinking - about my own life, my friends, and how much they mean to me, even if I put them down at times or fail to respect them. Even if I say or do fucked up things. Nevertheless you can be assured my friends do mean a fuck lot to me. These thoughts somehow affect the very core of my mind and the thinking process leaves me one rung higher up in the ladder of maturity we climb in life.

I’ve some friends who’ve lost next of kin, the closest blood relatives in life, and through that I’ve learnt to treasure my family more, screwed up as it is, in subtle ways. I’ve lost a friend before, a truly beautiful individual who brought smiles to my life and free froyo along with it. Through which I learnt to treasure my friends more. I’ve lost a caring senior, who’s demise only came crashing down in reality years on, when I looked back at the bigger picture with a whole new mindset. The list goes on, it can only get longer. However so does life, yet life gets shorter.

Chin up. If you missed the chance to hang out due to work and other commitments, or missed the “see you soon” where the soon never really happened. Its not too late to scroll through your phonebook, glancing at names and wonder who you’ve missed out through life, hectic as it might be. Sometimes a little text to check on how they are doing may indeed make the world of a difference to a friend, or to yourself. We often get caught up, in our school, our work, our play. The people in the middle of our social circle will move and change as life progresses. Yet in the battle for success, do keep in mind that its a war, and no man should be left behind. Its hard to live a life without regrets, but the last on the list of regrets should be to lose a friend. I’m not preaching, I’m speaking from the experience of someone with regrets.

So take time to remember people in your past, friends who’ve drifted away after you’ve sailed on. Not everyone’s on a speedboat, some are waiting for you on life rafts.

Remember,
The friends who have walked on by,
Kept in corners of your mind.
Or maybe the first friend you met,
Even those you’ve upset.
Its not easy to keep up,
As we’re all growing up.
Yet how much time does it really take,
To check if they’re doing great.
Remind those around you now,
To hang out for awhile.
When a friend seems to have trouble,
Be there for them on the double.
For anything else you can procrastinate,
But in friendship do not hesitate.

Deepest condolences to seeting, amber, sl, nicole, and all other friends affected by the passing of a fellow Dunmanian.

Kekeke :D

Every morning while on the train I absolutely enjoy pretending to pack my bag and keeping my stuff when I see someone eyeing the seat that I’m in. This gives them the impression that I’m about to get off. After which I’ll just continue reading my book/texting/napping and in my mind thinking “hahahahaha fuck you I’m only getting off at the last damn stop”

Yes I like giving people hope then dashing it. I have an extremely destructive personality from which I derive pleasure. I like to build stuff and throw it off the top floor of a building. So the next time you see me making a wood model, don’t walk past my void deck for the next few days.

No I was kidding, about them wood models, I just throw stuff down even before building them.

Maybe its just me, couldn’t you believe?

I find it weird when friends hook up.
I find it weird when two people you’ve introduced become better friends than you expected.
I find it weird when friends develop feelings for people I used to date.
I find it weird when people I used to date start dating other people.
I find it weird when people don’t eventually end up being the person they projected themselves to you as.

I know I’m an extremely possessive person. I annoy myself.

If I were a kid with 10 toys and I met a poor african kid who’s never had a toy, I’d give him none.

We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun.

2011 has flew by in the blink of an eye. Maybe its true that as we grow older, time passes faster. I look back and the words which were often told to us when we were kids by them adults ring true, “When you grow older, you’ll wish you were still a kid.”

My first year of adulthood, my 21st, my 2011. I look back with mixed emotions on how I could have handled  my life, my time, my money and wish that my decisions could have been more mature at times, regardless the amount of fun the devil in me brought out. The cost of 2011’s laughters, highs and joys have been engraved into my history as a year of my life I’d never get back.

Yes, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the parties, I enjoyed the times when I was young and did foolish stuff. I enjoyed the dates I’ve been on, the companionship received. The new friends I made, the old friends that grew closer like as though our alcohol drank was made of glue. I enjoyed it all.

Yet there has to be a time in life where a transition is made. A time where we all grow up and realize that maybe the things we do are not what’s best for us;  that we should dedicate our lives and time to doing what will positively influence and mold us into what we envision our future self to be like. A time where we realize we should be spending time with the right people doing right things. A time to grow up.

To the people I have neglected this year, I apologise. Maybe I have not been on my phone much, maybe I’ve been too busy to ask for a meet up, but with the dawn of 2012, excuses will be left to dust. One day of procrastination in a friendship could lead to 10 years of being strangers.

To the friends that I may have lost somehow, I’ll compromise.  One more friend is better than one more enemy, and if you were once my friend before it means that I view you as a person of value and I want you in my life some way or another still.

To the ones that have helped me in some way or another, I thank you. Be it late night back-and-forth ranting from Manchester. Or knocking some sense into my head by just showing how composed, mature, and sensible you are. Or being by my side through ups and downs, the list goes on. I cannot thank you guys enough.

To the new friends I’ve made, old friends I have, you are truly treasured. I assure you that from the bottom of my heart. I may not be one to often express my appreciation to you guys often, (maybe once a year in a post like this), yet you need to know that in this era of technology if you ever need a helping hand, I’m just a phone call or SMS away. 

As for myself, there are definitely resolutions which have to be put in place. Resolutions I may have made before yet failed to achieve. Resolutions that I know deep down are for the better of me yet choose to overlook subconsciously. They are as follows.

1) Stop partying and drinking, save special occasions such as birthdays.
2) Be sincere with actions to the people who matter.
3) Save money.
4) Exercise.
5) Get both my car and bike licenses.
6) Respect others, see the good in the bad, see the beauty in the ugly.
7) Do charity.
8) Study.
9) Travel.
10) Be in a proper relationship.

Yes, the list is crazy, the list is un-keithlike, but the list has to be done, for the good of myself and the ones close to me. One of life’s worst regrets is for one to look back and think “if only I….”, 2012 will have none of that. 

Thank you, all of you. For being with me in 2011. 2012 will be a better year, that is my promise to you. 

But one of these days I’m going to drag myself out earlier just to see the sunrise. Solo.

Today’s morning was beautiful, some how there was this serene, peaceful aura at dawn that left me feeling contented and a calm sensation weaving through my bones. Last night ended well too, lying on a bed, watching the sunset slowly glow bright to orange to gold, while texting some of my favorite people to text at the moment, sipping a warm milo and having some toast. Followed by a lunar eclipse minus vampires and werewolves, first in my 21 coming 22 years of life, but I hope not the last.

I appreciate nature, so maybe that’s why the eclipse seemed beautiful in its own alluring way. As though the moon finally came to life for once instead of looking like a mega star close to us in the solar system. I’m the kind of guy who would live on a farm ride horses breed chickens and feed pigs. Yet I’m the kind of lazy that would not want to clear weeds dump rubbish or clean the house. 

On mornings as such I’d like scrambled and bacon. With toast and tea, no coffee. Coffee is for the sleep deprived energy gurus with hustle and bustle in their lives, not for relaxing mornings where you can inhale the crisp in the air. On mornings as such I don’t want to open a browser tab and see Facebook updates on Korean concerts, beach parties, or what happened to some random people last night, not to mention football… No, its a total bummer, like a pothole in the road paved by stones of serenity.

There’s the pluses to scrolling the newsfeed too, like the smile on my face when a friend posts about Murakami, coupled with the satisfying thought that there’s still hope that some people out there would still sip tea with me with scrambled and bacon while I silently read a borrowed Kafka on the Shore. *hint*

Read the title again.